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The Blame Game
Bureaucrats’ one, two step...
[Michael Levine] 10/18/05

“You’re fired.” When was the last time the government uttered the most popular phrase of “The Apprentice?” Studies indicate that the government is extremely reluctant to fire employees who perform inadequately on the job. This costly trend occurs at all levels of government. Instead of firing their employees they simply move them to other positions, which is what I refer to as the “Lemon Dance.” It is a simple one, two, step, but not the one performed by Grammy winner Missy Elliot -the government performs this one.

Major news coverage of the insufficient response from FEMA’s director Michael Brown, to the Hurricane Katrina victims left many government officials in first position, ready to perform the traditional “Lemon Dance.” The endless transfer of incompetent workers rather than their outright dismissal represents this choreographed farce. It is the negligent, unqualified, and indifferent workers that fill millions of government positions and who do so with the assurance that they will never be fired for their transgressions. For example, California’s Proposition 74, which is suppose to extend the probation period for teachers, an extra three years. The probation period was put in place to simplify the process of terminating a teacher who has attained permanent status. With the Tenure law in place, which guarantees permanent teachers their job, Gov. Schwarzenegger argues that it is nearly impossible for districts to get rid of poor performing teachers who have been in the classroom for years. According to the California Journal (05-01-99), one school district paid more than $100,000 in legal fees and ultimately paid a teacher $25,000 to resign.

The inability of government superiors to adequately discipline their poor performing employees makes the “Lemon Dance” the modern-day Achilles Heel of government. Entrusted with running society’s most important institutions, the government finds itself in a position where it can neither terminate its least qualified employees (bottom percentage), nor reward exemplary standouts.

Richard Riordan, former Mayor of Los Angeles and present Secretary of Education for the state of California, cites a lack of accountability as the leading cause of poor performance plaguing government institutions. Riordan admits that government run bureaucracies, “ do[es] not hold anyone accountable, because [it] might hurt somebody’s self-esteem by firing them.”

The removal of FEMA’s director Michael Brown from the Hurricane Katrina aftermath was yet another contributing step to the offbeat “Lemon Dance.” When Brown demonstrated he made fatally bad decisions when conducting the Hurricane Katrina relief efforts, he was removed from the ground relief efforts - “one, two, step.” He was then assigned to conduct work for Fema at the White House. Out of breath and tired of dancing for the Bush Administration, Brown resigned from his position at Fema, leaving President Bush to take the responsibility of a failed mission to save as many lives as possible during a natural disaster. “ To the extent the Federal Government didn’t fully do its job right, I take responsibility ,” says Bush during a press conference. “ Katrina exposed serious problems in our response capabilities at all levels of government.”

Perhaps Bush does not deserve all of the blame. Because laws, civil service regulations and city ordinances protect incompetent workers, Americans do not get the services they need from government employees, who can’t be fired.

A recent study by the Los Angeles Daily News concluded that only six out of 37,000 Los Angeles City government employees have been terminated for poor performance. On the national level, the Federal Times reported in 2003 that none of the approximate half-million workers of the eight Cabinet level departments were fired for poor performance from June 1993 to June 1998. The public needs to ask whether local and federal governments have collected the finest group of individuals capable of error-free work, or if there are inadequate systems in place that are incapable of changing rampant poor performances of government workers.

The “Lemon Dance” is a regular routine for the U.S. Government. Until the government can change its beat, by hiring qualified workers and terminating their bottom five percent (poor performers), many more will be left breathless doing the “Lemon Dance.” tOR

copyright 2005 Michael Levine

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