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It’s TIME to Update the Movie Classics!
by Patrick Hurley [scriptwriter] 7/4/07
The American Film Institute (AFI) recently released its updated list of great movies. Fine. But, I don’t think it went far enough in its rehabilitated list. Let’s face it, the Classics are getting pretty long in the tooth and today’s generation needs a fresh look at some OLD titles. Times have changed. Here are my suggestions for making the names of these dinosaurs more relevant involving the celebrities of the 21st Century. As a tribute to the AFI I will retain the classic title and alter the plot somewhat to fit the genre of what we crave in our world gone mad and getting crazier by the moment.
Contributor
Patrick Hurley
Patrick Hurley is an independent conservative thinker living
in Orange County, California. He has addressed over six million
people in 47 states nationwide and won three Emmy awards for
television comedy.[go
to Hurley index]
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“Gone with the Wind” The true story of Rosie O’Donnell’s exit from, “The View” and her subsequent attempts to courageously restart her career by being an egotistical blowhard.
“2001: A Space Odyssey” The day to day struggles of Paris Hilton in her own personal universe.
“Some Like it Hot” Al Gore and his misguided mission to convince all of us that he is not an idiot concerning global warming.
“E.T: the Extra-Terrestrial” A documentary film about Jesse Jackson complete with action figures at Burger King.
“Dr. Strangelove” How Jack Kevorkian rationalizes murder. Riveting. Not since Claus von Bulow has a doctor been so unrepentant in his efforts to justify a homicide.
“A Clockwork Orange” The biographical story of Pat Summit and her relentless and consistent ability to win championships for women’s basketball at the University of Tennessee.
“The Silence of the Lambs” The true story of how Michael Jackson got away with…well, you know!
“Twelve Angry Men” A film about the women Bill Clinton seduced and the men who loved them.
“Vertigo” The plot revolves around why a goofy President Bush sent our troops into Iraq and why he refuses to bring them home.
“Do the Right Thing” Why Hillary Clinton finally left the country never to be seen again in public.
Now, that’s a Top Ten List we can all be proud of by today’s cinematic measure.
See you at the Movies! ExileStreet
copyright
2007 Patrick Hurley
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