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FROM THE PHONE BOOTH: The Smallest Space in  Hollywood

	FINEFROCK

Islam, the Mini-Series, Part Deux:
Family Circles of the Ka’aba
by Steve Finefrock - Hollywood Forum [scriptwriter] 3/25/08

Bernard Lewis’ studies of Islam and Arabic society are conducted by this Princeton prince of intellect without ever entering the home of Islam, forbidden to enter the Hejaz by the Saudi government. His studies have gotten no closer than Turkey’s academic sources, for Mr. Lewis, author of many learned pieces of many lengths on Islam, Muhammad [PBUH] and Arabism is a Jew.
 
He’s never had access to the Ka’aba, Islam’s mosque of central symbolism in the heart of Mecca. He’s never viewed Medina where Muhammad [PBUH] died, but does have access to the famed ‘far mosque’ in Jerusalem – for it is accessible to Jew, Gentile, Muslim and Buddhist [and even atheist tourist], due to being in the custody of Jews of Israel.  That is only one central fact to remember, among so many in this centuries-old story.  Jerusalem is Judaism’s first-city, and only holy city; Muslims declare it their third city, after Mecca and Medina, and eagerly desire to bring it under their control, and thus similarly banned from visits by Jews. And other heathens – known in Arabic as ferengi [did Roddenberry find this Star Trek term therein?]

The exclusion from Saudi Arabia is not just to Jews – all non-believers, e.g., infidels, are kept out of the holy sites – but especially Jews are banned from these sites.  No Jews in the Saudi parliament, for there is no such democratic, representative body to begin with – can’t find what is the Arabic word for republican democracy, though there is the term for a traditional tribal council, the majlis which predates Muhammad’s birth – a marked contrast with the Knesset in Israel, exhibiting Arabs among its elected membership. To find a democratically-empowered Arab casting a free and fair vote, you must visit Israel’s Knesset, or the United Nations General Assembly.
 
The story of Islam is fascinating enough to make an ongoing mini-series, but the chapters of the Prophet [PBUH] himself would be lacking that critical element which NBC had to retrofit into the pilot for “West Wing” – the Big Guy himself. Aaron Sorkin tried to make that running political drama focused on an equal, balanced ensemble of staff members, but soon the notion belatedly hammered NBC execs in their empty head that the audience would want to see the Big Guy in the West Wing, not merely his eager entourage.
 
However, the Prophet Muhammad [PBUH] may not be represented in picture or drawing or photograph – not that it was always so rigid in Islamic doctrine, but in recent centuries his image is forbidden to be represented in any way. Thus, no ‘star’ in this TV story of the tsar of Islam – ergo, a mini-series would be able only to periodically glimpse at a shadow of Muhammad [PBUH] as all who saw him pass would utter his name or title only if followed by the suffix, Peace Be Upon Him [or written as PBUH].  
 
It’s a family story, a family circus, a circle of intrigue, treachery and family squabbles that would intimidate Luca Brasi of the Corleones’ clan.  When you hear of Shi’a, the minority sect of Islam, know that is drawn from Shi’at Ali, meaning the Party of Ali, who was slain shortly after granting a battle truce to one civil-war opponent, creating rage at his failure to continue the carnage to the end and allow Allah to redeem the winner. Those Shi’ites who were thus enraged at his tampering with this primal force of Allah’s nature became the Kharijites, whose legacy is part of the extremism of today. Yes, that’s right: Ali was not nasty enough in his battle methods. As did the cousin and son-in-law of the Prophet [PBUH – isn’t this endearing!], Ali’s sons perished fighting his cause.


Ali had been reared some of his child-years by Muhammad [PBUH – no one does this when saying Christ or Moses], a correction to note from part-one of this mini-series, which mistakenly claimed the two had grown in the same home as siblings. Ali’s father, Abu Talib, fell on hard times after rearing the orphaned Muhammad [PBUH – oh, gosh, let’s quit this distraction], so the Prophet took in and adopted his cousin, who years later married Fatimah [who did not die the same year as the Prophet’s wife and uncle, another mistake worthy of noting from earlier].
 
Fatimah is the only child of the Prophet to survive him, of three other daughters, and also two sons [they died in early childhood], borne by his wife Khadija [also his first convert, as well as first-wife].  All these relations to Talib were of the Hashim clan, whose bloodline is sacred to Shi’ites’ belief that the caliph [deputy inheriting the Prophet’s mantle of leadership of the umma, the religious community] must carry the bloodline of Muhammad [PBUH]. Thus, the Hashimite dynasty of Jordan claims the only modern-day ‘descendant of the Prophet’ as the legitimate heir of that seventh-century family circle.
 
Is that becoming clear?  It’s a helluva story, with so many ornaments of interest to keep a major broadcast or cable network busy for decades. One chapter alone on the Koran [Qu’ran] being the only holy scripture which provides within its noble expression of enlightenment, instructions for the proper division of booty!  Note that the Koranic one-fifth for the Prophet, from raids on Meccan caravans and other groups’ commerce, was an ‘improvement’ over earlier tradition of one-fourth for the boss.  Can’t recall what the divided share of train-robbery money was for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.  But it wasn’t written in any scripture [save for William Goldman’s screenplay].
 
This clan of Ahab and Clyde [see ancient pop-song, “Ahab the Arab” – so un-PC for today] didn’t look to the Torah or Gospels to find their rule of theft.  They had the Qu’ran, which is the next text to put on your reading list, after “What Went Wrong” and “The Arabs in History” penned by that Jew banned from the Hejaz, Bernard Lewis. Try it – you’ll like it, for a few suras [Arabic for chapter], at a paperback price, to learn the price of what we will pay in jizya if we don’t ‘get it’ soon and sooner.  
 
And jizya? A tax paid by non-believers in a Muslim culture, sort of protection money [ah, the Corleones again] disguised as a tax, most commonly on Jews, though often on othernon-Muslims. Not many Jews paying jizya these days – Arabs would have to allow Jews to reside in their territory first to then impose the tax.  One saving grace for Bernard Lewis – as a Princeton prince he pays the same American taxes as goyim [Gentiles].  
 
An interesting note: Do ya get a sense how taxes play such a role in this story? Shades of the Boston Tea Party – we were insisting on ‘no taxation without representation’ yet American colonists paid then no differential for being Jewish, or Dutch, or Scotch-Irish. The jizya suggested here for the USA is the price we’ll pay, of freedom, of liberty, of what that little tea party was all about, and is still relevant. To them, we’re ferengi, due to pay jizya, and thereafter never entitled to visit Mecca or Medina, if they get their way.
 
And note that Damascus is the fourth holy city, with Baghdad the fifth – from descendants of early dynasties setting up shop northerly from Mecca, and expanding Islam to the Indus river in the east, and Spain the west [in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and also Muslims were belatedly driven across Gibraltar by Ferdinand and Isabella, freeing Spain, which is known as Andalusia to Arabs – who are still itching to get it back as ‘theirs’ by ancient, established right]. There’s a whole list of other holy cities, which ferengi will be banished from visiting, should we fail to invoke the spirit of that Tea Party.
 
As Muslims do the seven-circle dance around the Ka’aba during their pilgrimage – a passion-enriched custom pre-dating Muhammad – we sometimes feckless ferengi are circling aimlessly, sometimes forming a domestic firing squad. Now is the time for all good men and women with tea in their veins to engage in your reading assignments. For sooner than you may think, the Paul Revere call will be:


Mount up, ferengi – and ride to the sound of the Tea Party. You have only your jizya to lose. And that’s no PBUH…. ExileStreet

copyright 2008 Steve Finefrock

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