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FROM THE PHONE BOOTH: The Smallest Space in  Hollywood

	FINEFROCK

Watchin’ Dems’ Ps & Gs
New Ads for Old Whines
by Steve Finefrock - Hollywood Forum [scriptwriter] 2/26/08

British pubs once prominently displayed a chalkboard for tracking clients’ consumption, with lines for clients’ names and two columns, one labeled “P” and the other “Q” – leading to the ancient adage, Watch your Ps and Qs.  The guzzler needed to monitor his consumption of how many pints and quarts so as not to outrun the funds in his wallet.  Today’s guzzlers of government need to monitor their Ps and Gs – in their enthusiasm to “provide” and “give” so much to so many by taxing the few who remain among the seriously taxable.  
 
Thanks to the magic of digital ‘find’ function and available transcripts of Dems’ debates in this past year’s arguing, it’s easy to count the number of times they’ve used their two favorite offerings.  In last April’s first appearance, the P-word popped up seven times, and the G-word merely thrice, among the full complement of candidates surging to give our taxes a surge should any one of them gain the Oval Office. More recently, the Texas debate, now whittled down to only two mouths full of Ps and Gs, the count was twelve Ps and nine Gs.  BO and HRC just stepped up the rate of Ps and Gs, apparently not watching them much at all.

 The average utterance of Ps for the year is 7.42 per debate, uttered by a winnowing number to this latest pair of pretenders to good sense; for Gs, the average was 7.85 per debate, as they all urged each other to provide stuff and give privileges via government largesse.  The count for the individual events surveyed: S. Carolina, 5-Ps/10-Gs; New Hampshire, 8/11; YouTube, 9/5; Los Angeles, 7/10; NPR, 4/7. Recently Barack, the likely pretender-nominee, gave a speech which rated all by his little self at 8 Ps and 5 Gs – almost dead-on the average for dems in general over the past year.
 
Of course, no one wearing the striped-shirts – our ‘referees’ in the name of the MSM – are watching these Ps and Qs, failing their ‘bartender’ role to ask the client bragging how  great he’s going to be, to pony up the cash for the stash of goodies being promised.  It’s like an ad-campaign run amuck, without any restraint.  As the project begins to ‘brand’ conservatism, research leads to once-proud advertising mottoes, which may apply now.


HAVE IT ALL YOUR WAY and WE DO IT ALL FOR YOU from McDonald’s can be re-engineered as DNC determination to do it for us, but of course to bill us as well. Ultimately we will PAY OUR OWN WAY and they will DO IT ALL TO US, in the shorts, in the pocketbook, with their drowning us in Ps and Gs until the national treasury is drained.
 
I’M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT I PLAY ONE ON TV is engineered to become I’M NOT A REAL ENGINEER, BUT A SOCIAL ENGINEER WITH AN UNLIMITED BUDGET, or perhaps I’M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT I KNOW BEST WHAT IS SUITABLE FOR HEALTH CARE POLICY FOR EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, FOREVER AND EVER INTO INFINITY.  Maybe a sidetrip to spin that from “Toys” character, Buzz Lightyear, morphed into FROM HERE TO INFINITY, WITH GOVERNMENT GROWTH.
 
The fun and fund with classic adages from advertising gets richer: THE CLOSER HE GETS, THE BETTER YOU LOOK becomes THE CLOSER HE GETS, THE BETTER YOUR WALLET LOOKS.  FOUR OUT OF FIVE DENTISTS RECOMMEND… today would be FOUR OUT OF FIVE SOCIALISTS RECOMMEND BARACK OR HILLARY to run our lives, spend out money, pursue her “million great ideas” at our expense.
 
IT KEEPS GOING – AND GOING – AND GOING rewrites itself!  Can anyone kill this vampire, one in pants suits and the other grinning with joy at going after our pocketbooks?


THE QUICKER PICKER UPPER easily revises into THE ENDLESS POCKET PICKER, no matter who is the DNC standard bearer. JUST DO IT makes us fear that they will JUST DO IT TO US, of course feeling certain that they are doing it for us, while using our money for their ego gratification of doing good works.
 
My motto for this derives from, Pretty is as pretty does: COMPASSION IS AS COMPASSION DOES, WITH YOUR OWN DAMNED MONEY.
 
Subaru corporate suits struggled thru several incarnations to replace their old motto, Inexpensive, and built to stay that way, including: Subaru, for all the right reasons; The perfect car for an imperfect world; Get Real, Get a Subaru; The Subaru Story, It never ends; The car that will change your mind.
 
Just one variation, then your own mind can take over, maybe add a few engineering contributions of your own: THE SOCIALIST STORY. IT NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ENDS. The same socialist sale, as ever since LaFollette, FDR, JFK, LBJ, Carter, Clinton – while braying they want to bring us Change. Or, a second effort, GOVERNMENT, VERY EXPENSIVE, AND BUILT TO STAY THAT WAY FOREVER.

For us on the right, a newly minted change would be CONSERVATISM: FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS. For if this crowd crows their victory this November, it will be PLOP-PLOP-FIZZ-FIZZ for what relief there is as they ‘change’ us back to JFK/FDR schemes.  For a great many on the left have no regret at saying, I ATE THE WHOLE THING from Barack’s kitchen of political old menu entries.
 
As the Ps and Gs come forth in the coming last debate, keep your own count, remember your own favorite ad tag, and imagine how they will stick it to us.  To America. To the last hope of a free world.  That’s the hope that needs to be sold this November. With as much enthusiasm as sought by a major corporate ad campaign. Instead of Save the Whale, we must struggle to save the tale that is America’s example of how to do it, and how NOT to do it.


My contribution?  YOU DESERVE A BRAKE TODAY – a tax brake, a brake on Them controlling Us.  Their rhetoric leading the nation down the primrose path to more socialism.  Be it BO or HRC, the pathway is the same, littered with IEDs that will blow the bottom out of the Humvee that makes this nation work. Let’s fix the brakes and get this Hummer moving to the right again.
 
[Engineer these: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand; Helps build strong bodies twelve ways; The instrument of the immortals; A Diamond is Forever; When it rains, it pours; Try it, you’ll like it; 99 and 44/100 percent pure; The man from Schweppes is here; The pause that refreshes; You’ll wonder where the yellow went; A little dab’ll do ya; It cures what ails ya; So pure it floats; Tension, Pressure, Pain; Ring around the collar; Kills germs that cause bad breath; How can you make two months’ salary last forever?; Does she…or doesn’t she?; Because I’m worth it; Only her hairdresser knows for sure; Stop squeezin’ the Charmin; How ‘bout a Hawaiian Punch; We try harder; Be all that you can be; Snap, Crackle, Pop; Quality is job one; Got Milk? – and any that come to your mind!] ExileStreet

copyright 2008 Steve Finefrock

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