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FROM THE PHONE BOOTH: The Smallest Space in  Hollywood

	FINEFROCK

The Hunt for Fred October
Boffo Reviews, Two Months Late?
by Steve Finefrock - Hollywood Forum [scriptwriter] 12/19/07

Yepsen is aboard, plus Barone, as are other me-too reconsidering pundits. Fred done good.  Held firm. Told that prune-faced lefty hostess with the leastest, No way. No hands. No mo’. Will it lead to the long-overdue ‘Big Mo’mentum, so long awaited?
 
Fred got ‘demoted’ in an chat this summer, by my poor vision or poor memory, from admiral to ship’s captain for his role in “The Hunt For Red October” – I’d thought I saw an eagle on his shirt lapel in that two-shot scene in the largest ‘conference room’ you’ll ever see in a navy ship, even a capital ship the size of a super-carrier.  That’s Hollywood ambition in set design. The erroneous summer-season demotion by this budding Fred-Head was corrected in a later chat with the same would-be Fred-Head, who’s now with Rudy instead.

Fred’s film role was indeed as an admiral [lower-half, rear rank], a mistake I realized viewing the film on cable, well after I’d given up in frustration at finding the Fred 08 contact who would employ my enthusiasm, and the parallel enthusiasm of a considerable ‘posse’ in southern California.  Most have ambled over to Rudy in the interregnum.  Now, Fred shows he may be admiral material, fully able to command more than one ship at a time.  Is it too late?
 
The Yepsen brigade is newly convinced that Fred ain’t dead.  Two months after the critical October ‘crossover’ [between announcing, and the anticipating public’s patience running dry], can he belatedly convince would-be Fred-Heads to clamber aboard his flagship?  Will his aw-shucks manner take flight? Was all this slow-go just the warm-up to a ‘cat’ from the flight deck [catapult of a fighter into the air for combat]? Did this week’s standout gain thumbs-up only because it was the worst-rated debate in the history of Western Civ?
 
That damnable debate rating is shared by Charles Krauthammer, its conservative originator, as well as boy-faced lefty, Chris Matthews.  But a standout serves one’s advancement, no matter the comparative background.  Other questions have arisen, to be answered, one related to Fred’s ‘trophy wife’ as he’s slammed by Matthews for so labeling his hotty managerial partner. One is: Does she know yet the crucial public concern for a potential First Lady?  That is, be more Dana Perino, less Britney Spears – which test she failed this month on Larry King. Didn’t you learn anything, Jeri, at Burson-Marsteller?
 
The wife is no mere trophy, Fred’s quip being a joke – a sensayuma [sense of humor] is missing from lefties when meeting rightwing tongue-in-cheek replies.  She’s quite bright in many arenas, and the person who should be slammed is the early autumn originator, Juan Williams; but he’s a fellow lefty, so Matthews’ feigned outrage is the outrageous residue of his bigotry. His sensayuma is way left past Yuma, Arizona – limited to regularly and grinningly pronouncing the VP’s name as “Cheeeeeeeneeeee” instead of its regular enunciation. Funny guy, funny boy, lucky boy, but still a boy, especially in contrast with Cheney, or Fred. Can you believe Chris once carried a loaded revolver as a capitol cop?
 
Fred may be the towering tortoise in this race of harried hares, all of them ragged and tagged with too much, for too long, in full-frontal political exposure to a public that is wearying as the holidays approach.  The Xmas rest-stop of six or eight days [for the voters, as well as the candidates’ harried staffs] will build pressure for Fred to ‘cat’ right after the prospective voters finish their Noel nap.  Can this amblin’ tortoise manage to harry and harass the hares ahead of him?  Will his shirt lapel display a political admiral’s star, or two, or three?  Only one commander in chief has brandished the five-star rank before sitting in the chair in “The Oval” – as staffers dub the Oval Office.
 
That was Eisenhower – only the second president to brag fully developed and publicly acknowledged national security ‘qualifications’ before ascending to The Oval.  The other?  Washington himself, who held the reins of our fate in his hands before the presidency existed.  No other candidate comes close, even Reagan or Bush-41, or Roosevelt [either TR or FDR], or Truman.  Maybe Grant; some may thus dub Jackson.  Grant’s grant of duty encompassed a large arena, but nothing on the scope of Ike’s heavy command as head of SHAEF [Supreme Headquarters, Allied Expeditionary Force] in London and then France.  No governor, no senator, no soul save these two had the ‘stars’ on their collar before taking the oath to protect and defend these United States. One founding general-in-chief, one SHAEF veteran, 156 years apart.
 
Does Fred’s head hold the intellectual reins to reign with stars?  All candidates for president see stars in their eyes, but few can stand up to a challenge comparable to the Cold War.  Truman faltered before finally earning one or two stars, apologizing early to Stalin for Churchill’s ‘unseemly’ remarks to that little college in Missouri.  Ike’s five-star experience and judgment replaced the little man; then came the big ego, little soul of JFK. Next we endured the big ego, thuggish sole leader of the Senate, LBJ.  Mere shadows compared to Ike’s humbler persona – bigger egos, grander public images, but wisps of the Ike presidency.
 
So it goes – and Fred’s stars faded when this would-be Fred-Head tired of the scavenger-hunt character of “Where’s Waldo” political invisibility.  I’m still yet to hear from an authorized Fred-Head campaign staffer, despite frantic, near endless queries throughout my own growing universe of contacts.  Lots of folks in that universe want me to join Rudy, and Mitt, and that’s OK – but “Where’s Fred” still seeks an answer.


Maybe what I hoped for, as my hopes faded in my hunt thru October, may still arise.  I boldly told my dad in August: Fred’s the man, plan on the inaugural.  Now he may be laughing, though the laugh deadline is far from here.  Not even near.  
 
After Christmas wrapping is shredded in landfills across the four timezones, attention will rapidly rise again in two timezones: Iowa, then New Hampshire.  Fred needs a ‘cat’ and a bolder stroke to tap into the nascent Fred-Head underground.  Nothing is more maddening to a political enthusiast than to see incompetence by one’s political superstar – unless it’s being blunted at even finding where to report for duty!
 
Fred-Heads’ hopes aren’t yet shredded.  But if Fred-08 doesn’t launch a loud and proud ‘cat’ after the landfills start filling up, Fred indeed is dead.  And nascent new enthusiasm, along with its potential, will be lost for the remainder of the campaign.  The Hunt for Fred began fading for many of us in October – can it recover in late December?
 
It’s your call, Admiral. ExileStreet

copyright 2007 Steve Finefrock

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